Once on a time, with nought to do at home,
My wife and I determined we would roam;
But to agree upon the route,
Admitted much domestic doubt:
If I said East, she said ‘t was best,
She thought, to travel to the West;
So after many arguments and brawls,
She brought me, nolens, volens, to the FALLS.
“A man convinced against his will,
Is of the same opinion still;”
As Butler says ― though ‘t is the wit
More than the sense that I admit;
For I came here to end the strife
Between myself and my good wife.
Well, after staying here a week,
I took a rather curious freak;
For after having often been
At every celebrated scene,
I thought I’d study the effect they made
On men of different country ― of different trade.
The first, he was an Irishman;
The second was a Scot;
The third was an American;
The fourth I knew not what;
The fifth was a Canadian ―
Their names I will not tell:
But their remarks upon the Falls
I still remember well:
“O Vanagher, you’re surely bate,
For on my soul they’re mighty nate.” ― (Pat.)
“I’am no that sorry I cam’ here,
But by my sooth that public’s dear;
So when I’ve written doon my name,
I’ll tak’ my boondle an’ gang hame.” ― (Sawney.)
“Them Falls I’ve seen from every quarter,
And judge them but a waste of water.” ― (Jonathan.)
“Ce’st grande, superbe’ ma foi,
Magnifique ― O, by Gar! ver pretty!” ― (Jean Baptiste)

Source: Table Rock Album and Sketches of the Falls and Scenery Adjacent. Buffalo: Steam Press of Thomas and Lathrops, copyright by Jewett, Thomas & Co.,1856c.1848

This link takes you to the scanned version of  the 1855 version of Table Rock Album from the Hathi Trust

See the Table of Contents of the Table Rock Album on this site.