Staring at the water
Beside the top of Niagara Falls
Thinking about throwing myself in.
My sister is visiting and I am exhausted by
Pretending I don’t want to die
Which makes me want death more.
I imagine my body smashing against the rocks
Being pummelled under by the water.
I see my
Floating down the river
On its back
Disgusting the other
Bodies that stand looking at geography
In this trash town
As if it means redemption.
I stop myself
What if I become a ghost.
In this horrible world
Of horrible horrors
The punishment for suicide
Is an eternity on Earth?
I step away from the edge
And tell no one
How close I was
Source: Scott Manley Hadley, 2003
First recorded for Moonchild Magazine, 2019